I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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