ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
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I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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