she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
