Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
how drunk are you?
Several
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
