when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
