This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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