singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
