pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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