I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
