he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Drunk is not a location!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
