At least make sure they are 18
Why
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
