That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
