We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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