she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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