So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
