watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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