Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
