I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
