i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
