3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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