Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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