I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I have fence marks all over my body
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
