you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
