I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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