I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
