It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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