It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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