i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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