My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair