why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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