Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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