I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
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i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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