He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Randomize
