just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
