cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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