i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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