i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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