Pants 0. Shit 1.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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