help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
be right there i have to get my cape
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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