dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
