is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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