And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
