No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
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I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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