There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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