Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The beer is more important than you right now.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Randomize