It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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