Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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