I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
