if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize