Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
