i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
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Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
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Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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