My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
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I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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