I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize