do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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