he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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