need another drink. this is the easiest way
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
