Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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