I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
