You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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