Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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