based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
