How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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