the condom got lost in my hair
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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