the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize