I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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