Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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