i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
