i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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