her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
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