Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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