I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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