my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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